A Day In The Life... ten years later

Barbara Ehrenreich Forum
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MODIFIED FROM THE ORIGINAL POST... IT WAS IN FACT "THE WORST DAY EVER"

We live in a society where one accepts responsibility for their mistakes, no one is held accountable for their actions, ao one EVER says they are sorry.

Let me you a small glimpse inside the day in the of the und/underemployed:

I spend day after day after may doing the same thing without any result: I can only offer you a glimpse into day in the life because there io room left to sit in my car, and I believe my apartment may actually be a fire hazard... This was my daily update posted at 7:30am:

I have done everything humanly possible to clean up the slack, however, I feel I have no other choice than to file a formal complaint so that my entire case is reviewed. The number of mistakes are so overwhelming that I simply don't have enough time to documents each and every one with the respective agency.

I will try to be more specific later without going into too much detail, but unfortunately, that level of detail is required to file the necessary appeals. Ironic huh? This apartment is like my own little cage, and I am just pathetic enough to run around in circles, hoping to find the much like a hamster wheel, rodent chasing in circles hoping to found my way out my way out before I run out air. If only I had finished my damn PhD, I would do my own case study or reality show on how far we'll go to have nothing at all...

I have taken care of the subrogation claim, however, that does bot minimize my level of frustration because I am DROWNING in paperwork. I have contacted several agencies to assistance such as the Disability Law and Advocacy Center, however, I do not have the resources necessary to provide them with timely response. There is a very limited time allowed to Request Reconsideration, or file an appeal.

I also want to be clear that every time I have to call Social Security or DHS, it only compounds my cost of living expenses (40 cents per minute on the telephone -- a bill which is not even considered to be a justifiable expense) Most agencies do not include self-addressed stamped envelopes, and I can not afford the postage required to mail out all of the requested documentation (e.g., utility bills, medical bills, pay stubs, etc.)

Fortunately, a number of agencies will take online complaints. Unfortunately, my internet was interrupted for non-payment for several weeks and their is no funding resource or community agency that provides subsidized Internet access or free printer ink.

Transportation costs are ridiculous so going to the library is not an option. Neither is returning to work right now, since it would cost too much to get to the interview or provide official (expensive) copies of my graduate school transcirpts that were oh, such a good investment!

Set aside, I am not the most user friendly person right about now, so I have found it difficult to put on a happy face so I can work at McDonald's which pays more than Metro anyway.

The subrogation claim has been resolved but I just learned that my breast biopsy was not pre-authorized and I was told by my INSURANCE CSR (the person who answers the phone!!!) that I should not have the surgery that has already been scheduled at the Women's Hospital for 8/21/2008. AmeriChoice (United HealthCare) did they did not authorize the biopsy last month, and have not, as of yet, received a request prior authorization for the surgery next week...

This was a lovely 54 minute conversation because he would not mail me copies of my EOBs or confirm that what, if any, requests have been submitted for payment since my last inquiry and change of address. He finally told me to call the state (Tennessee) which I have already done several times, and they told me to call Social Security but it was already past business hours and I am not authorized to make changes to my file anyway.

I'll be in touch when I can. Unfortunately each agency has different deadlines, and it takes a lot of energy and time to scan in, copy, or respond to each inquiry in writing, so I find myself running out of time since I can't seem to get anything done unless I just do nothing at all.

And even though my life is a living hell, I have almost learned how to enjoy the sheer irony of it all... for someone with OCD and post-traumatic stress, this is truly a ridiculous little experiment.

I am becoming increasingly inspired to just burn every last document I own, throw away my keys and my cell phone and take Spotty some place where we can live off the land and ignore the fact that society has me chained to a computer screen that screen that does provide the basic necessities I need to live in this .

I have come this far, and I am becoming rather skilled and at expressing myself without needing an audience or the obsessive need to check every fact, throw, and typo for capitalization and perfection.

So for now... I write.

Maybe later, I'll read, but if there is any justice left in this world, someday, I'll actually live.

Good-bye for now. I need a break.

With love,Elyssa Durant, Ed.M.
Nashville, Tennessee
Cell: (615) 424-8810
E-mail: elyssa.durant@columbia.edu

Elyssa Durant, Ed.M.

"The paradox of education is precisely this-- that as one begins to

become educated, one begins to examine the society in which he [or

she] is being educated." - Baldwin

Nashville, Tennessee


Re: Making Ends Meet When You Can't Afford the Paper (cookie)
Posted: 11:34:17 pm on 9/3/2008 Modified: Never


Elyssa

I feel for you but am finding it hard to understand your situation where you can't afford money to print necessary forms or afford bus fair to a public library. Please understand that I am not doubting what you say, but rather that what you describe is a pretty desperate circumstance.

Have you tried asking for lawyer assistance pro bono? I checked for you. The Nashville bar offers a Pro Bono program for certain circumstances, and it would seem that you meet the criteria. Check out

http://www.nashbar.org/forpublic.htm

They prefer an email but if that's too uncertain for you you could try them via phone or physical address:

315 Union Street, Suite 800 Nashville, TN 37201

Phone:
615-242-9272

Things may seem grim but don't drown yourself in a negative spiral. Keep your mind pinned on the positive.

Best of luck to you.

Cookie



Re: Making Ends Meet When You Can't Afford the Paper (FedUp)
Posted: 7:19:19 pm on 9/10/2008 Modified: Never


No offense, but that was my first thought: you can't afford bus fare, phone minutes or paper/ink, yet you still have internet access?

Are you still in your apartment?






Re: Making Ends Meet When You Can't Afford the Paper (Elyssa Durant)
Posted: 7:14:03 pm on 9/11/2008 Modified: Never


My first thought: You're kidding, right?

My second thought:
Poor thing just deosn't get it...
Take a look at "Good Fences" available online
http://www.nycvoices.org/article_1132.php
Elyssa Durant, Ed.M.
Nashville, Tennessee
Cell: (615) 424-8810
E-mail: elyssa.durant@columbia.edu

"The paradox of education is precisely this-- that as one begins to
become educated, one begins to examine the society in which he [or
she] is being educated." - Baldwin

Re: Making Ends Meet When You Can't Afford the Paper (MLCC)
Posted: 3:21:44 pm on 9/12/2008 Modified: Never


It's the government. Gather your paperwork, make an appointment, haul it down there for them to make a copy of whatever they need. Might be nice if you typed up an itemized summary of whatever they are most interested in gleaning from said paperwork so they might not copy the whole darn pile so trees and taxpayer monies can be saved.

While in need you trade time for assistance (money, food, healthcare) because you have 40-60 hours that most working adults do not have. Spend that 40-60 hours helping others to help you. I hardly think that is asking too much. No free lunches without something in trade.

What really boggles my mind is that there are people out there who cannot afford these simple things that refuse to get out there and take a couple of jobs, any job, doing anything just to get money in their pocket. The illegals manage despite lack of English competency, what is the matter with these people?

Just an ant that can't comprehend grasshopper attitudes.

Re: Making Ends Meet When You Can't Afford the Paper (paperpusher666)
Posted: 4:34:42 pm on 9/12/2008 Modified: 4:35:32 pm on 9/12/2008

Ever hear of Kitty Genovese? She was murdered in New York City about 50 years ago while at least a dozen of her neighbors watched, so the indifference of our neighbors is nothing new. NO ONE called the cops.

To a large extent, the rewards are on the side of being indifferent to our neighbors. Many people are petty enough to find ways to punish us for criticizing what they do, so we put up with noisy neighbors. In my building, I have learned that the annoying neighbors will be gone soon enough. Of the other three apartments on my floor, every one has turned over at least once in the year that i've been there. Part of the reason is that we have a lot of military families, but a larger reason is eviction. People are in a lot more debt than we think.

It's also hard to ask for help, particularly when you think that you should be doing better, given your education. From what I've read, the biggest help for someone with OCD is to have a structured environment. I'm at the start of helping a friend who has OCD de-hoard his house. It will take months, but the thing that really makes the process painful and slow is his inability to decide to throw something out. I'm a believer in cognitive behavioral therapy, but that takes time and effort that he is not willing to apply. If one can let bulk mail pile up for seven years, the odds are pretty good that most of it is out of date by now, but that's not how he sees it. The hard part will be his basement, six hundred square feet of crap, piled five feet high.

Making Ends Meet When You Can't the Paper? (Elyssa Durant)

Posted: 10:50:56 pm on 2/3/2009 Modified: Never

Nashville Bar Association and / or Legal Aid have both reviewed my case, and though I meet the eligibility criteria to obtain services, I found them to be very diasorganized in the application process. And simply could not do anything I hadn't already tried...

Limits federal limits for financial and certainly qualify for servies under various ADA protected categories, but what people don't realize is this... All I need is a actual, LIVING-WAGE job.

Trust me, they are harder to find than you might think.

I am certainly far below the income threshold and meet all eligibility requirements for various programs, but all I really want is the opportunity to be judged on my merits-- not be forced to identify myself as a recipient of federal funds so that corporation can CLAIM the welfare to work reduction.

Thanks, but no. I do qualify for Vocational Rehabilitation but the state messed up records so badly that I have absoultely no idea what the status of my PASS application is.

Pro-bono and nonprofits community agencies simply are not set up to deal with such complicated inter-related and complex issues. Legal Aid and TPA have both reviwed and evaluated the status of my case.

Neither handle bankruptcy, student loan disputes, or ERISA disputes. The Disability Law and Advocacy Center did not show up to a scheduled negotiation. My designated representative succeeeded at doing one thing: consitently missing every single possible filing deadline regardless of the how many times I called, wrote, or complained for over three years.

That is negligence in my book.

Forgive me for saying so, but those are "advocates" I could do without. It would be nice if I could find someone who is professional enough to at least show up when THEY are being paid.

It would be so much easier if I could, in fact, find a real paying job, however despite my best efforts, I have found very few people who can be sensitive to my situation and allow reasonable accomodations that are my no means too, too disruptive or annoying.

Unfortuantely I will never meet the criteria of a rank and file employee, however I'm starting to think that maybe employers are not making the best of decisions when I look at how many of them are closing up shop. I need a job that pays, in full, on time, and does not mind my attentiomn (or obsession) to detail.

I even once got fired from Red Lobster the management felt I was "not Red Lobster Material." All in all, I guess that is not such a bad thing, because when I planned goals for myself, I cannot honestly say that being "Red Lobster Material" was not anywhere near the top of my list!

Unforutnately, good intent does not translate into the ability to pay salaries or related expenses such as INTERNET, telephone access or even basic transportation and realted expenses.

I am finding out that there are so many more people out there like myself who are "out-the-door ready and willing to go to work" were it not for the sinking economy and underwhelming job forecasts from the Bureau of Labor Statistics.

I have tried looking at this from every angle, but the bottom line is this: I NEED A JOB!

Thank you for your thoughtful reply. I will no doubt be revisit your rsuggestions when I attempt to file my taxes again through the VITA program.

Sincerely yours,

Elyssa Durant
Nashville, Tennessee
E-mail: ed70@columbia.edu

Elyssa Durant, Ed.M.
Nashville, Tennessee


Re: Making Ends Meet When You Can't Afford the Paper (Elyssa Durant)
Posted: 10:58:37 pm on 2/3/2009 Modified: 11:06:45 pm on 2/3/2009


How did I miss this refreshing post?

Thank you so much for not doubting my efforts and sincerity when I tell you I've tried.

I know exactly how much money I am costing society, but what I have not done is abuse the system any more than it has abused me.

Surely, we all know that it is easy to skate by in American on less than $600 a month. And trust me if you have ANY illness when you go into the system, you will be so far beyond normal by the time you are through. assuming that is, that you are one the privileged elite who can meet their criteria and be poor like me!

I must be pretty freakin dumb if I thought I could try.

Thank you.

Elyssa


Elyssa Durant, Ed.M.
Nashville, Tennessee


Re: Making Ends Meet When You Can't Afford the Paper (Elyssa Durant)
Posted: 11:06:03 pm on 2/3/2009 Modified: Never


Do you still feel I am abusing the welfare system by paying for internet access? Because I would so love it you could donate some wifi access to anyoneother than myself so others can ennjoy that elusive privilege of speaking loud. Surely someone can donate wifi to all us who should go without voice or recognition for using our words on the government's dime. Yeah, I guess you are right, I don't deserve internet access. It makes me angry to see comments like yours that insult my intelligeence and my sense of humor.

Whatever. If it makes you feel any better, I hope you feel just fine.

Elyssa Durant, Ed.M.
Nashville, Tennessee


Re: Making Ends Meet When You Can't Afford the Paper (new_wave_princes)
Posted: 12:18:21 am on 4/14/2009 Modified: Never


So you are on welfare, can't afford paper, but can afford computer? No, I don't feel sorry for you. You probably just don't want to work.

Re: Making Ends Meet When You Can't Afford the Paper (hagofall)
Posted: 6:33:44 pm on 4/16/2009 Modified: Never


I wonder if "new wave..." checks up on whether he's been read? (I know I do.) I think your (nwp) response in "this" category is kind of reprehensible but in "others" you appear more reasonable--still very angry. So, you are the more newly kicked around and definitely feeling sorry for only your own ilk? Not to mention, we, none of us, want to look pathetic, pride is there and it, somtimes, makes it all the more complex, yes? no?....

Re: Making Ends Meet When You Can't Afford the Paper (new_wave_princes)
Posted: 9:58:29 pm on 4/16/2009 Modified: 9:59:37 pm on 4/16/2009


Hagofall, I have no idea what you are asking. I just think it's wrong that she manages to have internet on welfare but not paper. Her priorities are out of whack. Not one thing I've read about her mentions actually looking for any kind of job. I too have a MA, but I'll take what I can get, and not take welfare.

Re: Making Ends Meet When You Can't Afford the Paper (hagofall)
Posted: 8:56:33 am on 4/17/2009 Modified: Never


There are a lot of things going on here, for one, Bait and Switch might be a more appropriate forum for Elyssa. Not that it matters that much. People are just getting it off their chests. But the people Barbara Ehrenreich writes about in Nickeled and Dimed have always been poor and working. What I love greatly about BE's books is the writing and I am laughing through out. Irony keeps me going. But some people aren't like me in this and aren't we all so vastly different when you look at the details? When it comes to what we write via the internet, that is where we seem more alike--in our ideas. Ideas vs. realities.
Anyway, nobody is going to argue with the numbers. I'll venture to say that there have never been enough jobs for all the people who need them. And now? My local internet "help wanted" site showed 250 jobs with 18,000 job seekers. And this was before all hell broke loose. And don't forget there is competition for low wage jobs too.
I am fascinated with how people survive. As far as I am concerned nothing is a piece of cake when you're one us, us being the majority of human beings.
And New Wave Prince, I'll apologize , because I thought you were being mean but instead we just have different ideas.


Re: Making Ends Meet When You Can't Afford the Paper (paperpusher666)
Posted: 2:17:36 pm on 4/23/2009 Modified: Never


Most libraries give you internet access for free. It might be limited to an hour or two a day, but you can get it for free.




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Simple Plan: Complicated Journey

5 Squad: Philadelphia police engaged a long-standing pattern of appalling public corruption. The fact of this harm is readily ascertainable.

IN THE  UNITED STATES
DISTRICT COURT
FOR THE EASTERN DISTRICT
OF PENNSYLVANIA


















1 In deciding a motion for judgment on the pleadings under Rule 12(c), a court must “‘view the facts presented in the pleadings and the inferences to be drawn wherefrom in the light most favorable to the . . . non-moving party’” Green v. Fund Asset

Management, L.P., 245 F.3d 214, 220 (3d Cir. 2001), quoting Institute for Scientific Info, Inc. v. Gordon & Breach, Science Publishers, Inc., 931 F.2d 1002, 1004 (3d Cir.1991).

Judgment is appropriate “only if the plaintiffs would not be entitled to relief under any set of facts that could be proved.” Id., citing Consolidated Rail Corp. v. Protlight, Inc., 188 F.3d 93, 95-96 (3d Cir. 1999).

BLANE NEELY a/k/a WALTER MITCHELL : CIVIL ACTION v SIX CONTINENT’S HOTELS, et. al. : No. 02-3890

ORDER-MEMORANDUM

AND NOW, this 15th day of October, 2003, the “Motion for Judgment on the Pleadings of Defendants, Six Continents Hotels, Inc., Holiday Inns, Inc. and John Sweetwood” is granted, Fed. R. Civ. P. 12(c).1

This civil rights action arises from the March 1977 arrest and subsequent conviction and incarceration of plaintiff Blane Neely a/k/a Walter Mitchell. On March 17, 1977, plaintiff was a guest at the Holiday Inn in Philadelphia, where defendant Elliott Jurist was the night manager. Second Amended Complaint, 

10, 11. At approximately 11 p.m., Jurist is alleged to have given defendant David Grove, a Philadelphia police officer, access to plaintiff’s telephone records and to have permitted him to listen in on plaintiff’s telephone conversations. Second Amended Complaint,

12. It is further alleged that later that night, Jurist and Grove entered plaintiff’s room and assaulted and robbed plaintiff. Second Amended Complaint,

13, 14. As a cover-up, plaintiff was then arrested, and subsequently convicted and incarcerated based on the testimony of Jurist and Grove.

2 Plaintiff pro se filed the original complaint and, on July 15, 2002, an amended complaint. On January 13, 2003, Cozen & O’Connor was appointed as counsel for plaintiff and immediately moved to amend the complaint. The motion was granted and on February 10, 2003, a Second Amended Complaint was filed.

3 “A claim may be dismissed as time-barred where it is clear from the complaint that the applicable statute of limitations has lapsed.” Buckalew v. Ebi Companies, 2002

WL 1335110, *1 (E.D. Pa., June 5, 2002) (citations omitted).

4 Molina v. City of Lancaster, 159 F. Supp.2d 813 (E.D. Pa. 2001). See also Bailey v. Tucker, 533 Pa. 237, 261, 621 A.2d 109, (1993)
 

(“it would seem that being subjected to a term of imprisonment is a harm or injury to the person. Nor can there be any doubt the fact of this harm is readily ascertainable upon its occurrence.”)

2

On June 25, 2002, plaintiff filed this civil rights action.2 On February 18, 2003, movants filed an answer to the second amended complaint, asserting a statute of limitations defense, and now move for judgment on the pleadings.

3

 

The parties agree that Pennsylvania’s two-year statute of limitations applies to federal claims arising under 42 U.S.C. §§ 1981, 1985(3) and 1986. In general, civil rights claims for false arrest and false imprisonment accrue at the time of the arrest and are timebarred if not commenced within two years of the arrest.4 Plaintiff was arrested in March 1977, and any civil rights claim based on the arrest was time-barred two years later. This case was not filed until 2002, 25 years after the arrest and well past the expiration of the applicable statute of limitations. Plaintiff contends, however, that the statute of limitations this case is tolled by the federal equitable tolling doctrine.

“Equitable tolling may be appropriate where the defendant has actively misled the plaintiff regarding her cause of action, where the plaintiff has in some extraordinary way been prevented from asserting her rights or where she has mistakenly asserted her rights in the wrong forum.” Buckalew v. Ebi Companies, 2002 WL 1335110, at *4 (E.D. Pa, June 5 Plaintiff’s arrest occurred in March 1977. The documented activities of the 5 Squad occurred three years later, during the period 1980 through 1984. See Sentencing Memorandum.

3

5, 2002), citing Lake v. Arnold, 232 F.3d 360, 370 n.9 (3d Cir. 2000); Oshiver v. Levin, Fishbein, Sedran & Berman, 38 F.3d 1380, 1387 (3d Cir. 1994). It is plaintiff’s burden to demonstrate the applicability of equitable tolling, and part of the burden is proving the exercise of reasonable diligence in pursuing the claim. Buckalew, supra, at *4 (citations omitted).

Here, a period of 25 years elapsed between plaintiff’s arrest and his assertion of a federal civil rights violation. Plaintiff argues that he was prevented from asserting his rights “in an extraordinary way” because defendant Grove was a member of the 5 Squad, a group of Philadelphia police officers engaged in “a long-standing pattern of the most appalling public corruption.” United States v. Wilson, No. 88-282, Government Sentencing

Memorandum, at p.2. However, plaintiff does not make out how the 5 Squad prevented him from proceeding with his claim. Also, there is no allegation that the 5 Squad was involved in plaintiff’s arrest.5 In addition to the 25-year delay between arrest and the filing of this claim, there was a 12-year delay after the sentencing of the 5 Squad in 1990.

Whatever influence or effect the 5 Squad may have had was dissipated upon the conviction and sentencing of its members.

“To invoke equitable tolling, [plaintiff] must show that [he] exercised reasonable diligence in investigating and bringing [his] claims.”

New Castle County v. Hallibur NUS Corp., 111 F.3d 1116, 1126 (3d Cir. 1997) (18-month delay in bringing CERCLA claim not excused by equitable tolling; complicated clean-up implementation procedures did not constitute extraordinary circumstances).

"One who fails to act diligently cannot invoke equitable principles to excuse that lack of diligence." Baldwin County Welcome Center v. Brown, 104 S. Ct. 1723, 1726 (1984)

(equitable tolling not invoked where pro se plaintiff ignored specific instructions regarding filing deadlines and filed employment discrimination action after 90-day period permitted by law).

Plaintiff does not attempt to explain the extraordinary delay in filing his claim. In that he has not satisfied his burden of proving diligence in the pursuit of his claim, equitable tolling cannot be sustained.

Plaintiff’s claims are time-barred.

BY THE COURT:

_______________________

Edmund V. Ludwig, J.

 

uncensored

The first course I took as a grad student in New York City was a fabulous seminar in public journalism. on the 4th floor at the infamous J-School located inside the cool steel gates separating surrounding Morningside Heights.

We would pass the men living on the streets each day, enter through the solid stone doors that were 12 ft tall, and write about them. With such eloquence you would hardly know they were homeless at all. I would enter at 116th Street. Homeless people leaned against the buildings asking for change I did not have.  We pretended not to see them. the were invisible people. If you could avoid making eye contact, you could pretend you didn't see them.

We exploited them.

The blocks surrounding 116th-120th where the young and talented get ready to take their place in society. Our liberal professors gave us just the right skills to turn us into experts.  Experts in public journalism, public relations, and media manipulation.  We were gifted with a card key to unlock the gates. That key gave us access and privilege.

Yes, membership does have it privileges.

All took was a swipe of the card and we could bypass security we had the power to get in. Tradition. The Ivy League way.

Just like Tuskegee exploited the Blacks, and the Army exploits the young and the rudderless, we exploited the sick irony of paying more per credit than they earned in one year on Veterans benefits or disability. We disgust me.

But Karma is a bitch, because less than 2 years later there I was,

I would sleep in the law school library, had a locker in the basement next to the the indoor pool, and University mailbox, and a beautiful smile. I had the power to get in.  

I “looked" good enough to pass through the gates. I still do, only now I am the invisible one.

I had the Ivy League pedigree. You can't take that away from me. It is written on my birth certificate. 

A power broker in the making... a would have / should have / could have / member of the ruling elite... The Powers That Beat.

Am I "Law School material?"

I have what it takes to get in on my own? So why question my heritage or my DNA? How is that relevant to the life I live today?  

What the fuck did they know? That cute little Jewish Girl from Long Island, the one from a "good" family... the Harvard Legacy with the beautiful mother dripping in jewels and fur coats received from her latest boyfriend or husband—that little girl was me. 

I should have been the perfect example of how a power player in the making the benefits from good breeding.

No one ever needed to know that beneath it all I worked my ass off to pay my way through my first two years of college.  No one cared and no one believed me anyway.  

Ultimately I managed to get a scholarship into the top ranked program in Sociology and Politics. Ranked at the very top of the list in US News and World Report. I can affect change.

The fact that I dropped out of high school at 16 could remain my dirty little secret.

And to this day, no one ever come forward to expose that little truth. Probably because so few people know—Maybe three or four So why on earth would I reveal such an embarrassing little detail of my personal life and risk my reputation on something I should have left behind me over twenty years ago?

[edd/eds Nov. 9, 2009: notes to follow... re: Enclave: Drop Dread]

Because it matters.

No one needed to know. I can get by well enough on my looks, I speak quite eloquently, and usually appear normal to most, but it is an important little factoid because people constantly judge ME based upon who they think I am – either the girl with the wealthy parents, or a lazy too stupid too get off welfare.

It matters because all too often, what appears to be and reality are two very different things. I am in fact, an Ivy League Alum. I did in fact get a full scholarship into the PhD program in Public Policy at a leading University.

Impressive? Not so much...

I am in fact unable to find employment and live on SSI (Supplemental Security Income) the lowest of the low. I am so far beneath the poverty level (already ridiculous) that I often wonder how I manage to live at all.

So that "legacy," the access I once had to the Ivory tower on the 4th floor we wrote is now gone. Not because they didn't like my work-- they loved it! Solid A in Public Journalism.

Well if I were in New York today, I would most likely be one of the people o the streets. Actually, I would probably be sitting across the street at the Bookstore just so I could stay close to the vast amounts of wisdom and philosophy within the hollowed halls as classes break for the summer. I would be watching people go in and out and be envious that they had the one thing that I don't: access.

So I made it through the very Same J-School where Pat Buchanan refused to speak to his Alma-mater because he once punched someone in the face on the 5th floor. I made it through despite the fact that I often times slept in my car in the middle of winter because I could not afford gas for the commute and eventually lost my apartment. I made it through having no electricity and frozen water pipes.

The question is: can I make it through this? I paid my dues.

I deserve a chance. Dammit, I deserve a chance. I deserve a job. I deserve a little credit.

Will our policy decision be based upon our need for reform or the ability to buy into the trendy ads that generating hate and intolerance. ANd to be clear, it is not just the insurance lobby.  It is ALL of US.

Dems, libs, pubs, non-profits, not-for-profits, even agencies and organizations I reluctantly support and/or promote for free: Despite the fact that i find their tactics both offensive and hypocritcal.

At Coulmbia, we used to joke about all the sell-out journalists who gave up on the news... peple like Pat Buchananan who took the same course, but into politics instead.  The whole bunch of them.  They crossed that fine line specturm.... speech writers, columnists; or even politicians themselves.

How did people like Pat Buchanan (a J-School alum) became so skilled at using their words to sell ideas in such a way that people actually believed the propaganda they were spinning?

After giving much thought to where or what I hoped to become, I am glad that we now live in society where all citizens can take place in reporting the news, watching the watchers, and participating in the democratic process where freedom of the press is the key to success...

Thank god all mighty.... because I have since come to the conclusion that the mediawhores feeding the machine are more arrogant and self serving than politicians they who have virtually no limits when it comes to feeding their ego in 15 second time bytes.

I think they become addicted to the their own power to manipulate people and they are willing to trade a little tarnished idealism for power and inflated self-esteem.

I am not one of those people. I care enough about the issues to take the time to examine them from all angles. I feel that the massive amount of money being spent by agencies that I hold in deep respect launching a counter-attack on the insurance companies and their ad execs will have serve to damage their reputation. I chose to volunteer with these agencies because I believe they are well informed and do a great job to involve the everyday average Americans like myself in the political process.

By spending $750,000 on advertising, these groups now seem to be on the same level as the insurance industry and others who exploit the poor and infirm at the mercy of the healthcare marketplace. 

WHERE $750 MILLION IS BEING SPENT

So I take issue with this campaign. Let Rick Scott be heard. Using such tactics will make the good guys no better than the Insurance Companies that exploit us all.

Are these ads showing us: how to reform or how to perform? 

The large amount of funds being thrown (public or private) being spent on media fluff, and emotional being spent on media propaganda and 'skittles' on both sides of the healthcare debate.

I am offended by the huge amounts of money being spent on propaganda and skittles by both sides of the healthcare debate. Excessive, exorbitant monies being spent to manipulate the public through misleading ads, expert analyses, action alerts, and media manipulation: this is insulting at best.

Real dollars are being used to manipulate the public about real issues: the sick; the poor, the ignorant... We are skewing and spewing  bad data and information to those who need it the most.

Talk about adding insult to injury? I do hope the Center for Media Health Care for America Now, HealthJustice.org and others will reconsider this campaign. I am one foot soldier who is unwilling to participate in this one.   And these are the good guys... $750 MILLION?

Bottom line is this: we need to stop manipulating images and perceptions about the reality of healthcare, education, and social welfare in the United States.

All is not well in America. Not well at all.
And I am here to prove it!


Elyssa Durant, Ed.M.
Anytown, United States of America

FREEPRESS LINK

10/22/09 6:26am

The Roof is On Fire

The APPEAL had given me for the thirteen months I actually believed somebody was listening. WRONG AGAIN! That false strength I kept in reserve to keep going was the part of me that needed to believe that I haven't lost everything. It gave a false sense that somebody was actually listening.

I WAS WRONG.... THE APPEAL WAS NEVER REVIEWED. AND NO ONE SEEMS TO GIVE A DAMN THAT THIRTEEN MONTHS HAVE PASSED, AND MY BENEFITS ARE MORE SCREWED UP THAN EVER!

So listen carefully, my friends. It was not too long ago that I had almost everything a young person needs to succeed in this world.

Or maybe not.

As for my most current insurance dispute... I feel that I have done everything humanly possible to be sympathetic towards health care provider who is NOT providing care. I cannot sacrifice my own well being for every bright eyed bushy tailed wanna be who is too stupid to see that I am far from.

I had such a battle this week. It culminated in the end like every other battle I have taken on. I only won because ultimately but we are all losing.

For every underqualified, health care provider who has NOT provided the adequate, there are many more like me. Alienated just enough to give up on fashion, etiquette and social norms; but not enough to walk away from it all.

We are keeping watch. We are taking names, and I for one do not give a rat's ass about "keeping the peace."

Having been on both sides if the proverbial couch, I have the perspective is both enlightening and scary at the same time.

I look back and want to say shout "told you so" from the nearest roof top.

Crazy is crazy does... out loud. I may be enjoying this just a little too much.

Sometimes I try to look at this fight, (I meant to say this life) objectively.

I can see my own future, and I can see where it is taking me. I know how it will end if I don't keep up the pace.

It is amazing at how far we will go to have nothing at all.

I have come this far, and on some level I almost enjoy the dance. No. On some level, I actually love the dance.

But then there are days like this.

Because without this turmoil, this exercise in futility, absurdity, government waste, bureaucracy, irreverent disregard for basic human kindness, decency and humanity-- and all long to go to the kind of place I hear about ain Fairy Tales .

He speaks of a place called Neverland.  You see, I don't know the story of Peter Pan, Captain Hook, and I have no idea who Wendy is. Of course I've heard of Tink (though I hear she is a pain in the ass ;) but only because I like glitter pens and fairy dust. I don't know these things, because I don't know the innocence, the purity, the make believe world of childhood. I never had one.

I knew cruelty... and though I am not cruel, this is who I am at this very moment: Dark, discouraged, and deeply disappointed.

What if this is all that there is for me? If I can never break free from this cycle of insanity, and trust me when I say the insanity I speak of is NOT in my head. We have all heard the expression insanity is the sane response to insane surroundings; let me assure that there are very few cases that rival mine. I am the stuff psychologists, sociologists, and the occult speak of behind closed doors. My sister and I were raised this way. She may be a lawyer, she may have good credit, she may have a lot of things, but while my father took me to see the same shrink that treated Danton, Milken, Masrtronardo and more, he took her to see a psychiatrist who specialized in serial killers.

So I wonder, and you should too... did he take us there to be healed or did he take us there to create our futures? I will never be good enough for him. Thank god jesus allah and the power invested in this little stupid wifi device... his vision of us, his vision of U.S. is wrong.

I know this now. I didn't know then. I have proof now. I hardly even need it. It all out in the open and I am glad. Never again should the FBI create hatred, men so indoctrinated by power that they have such little regard for human life that they treat their children the same way they treated John Africa and the thirteen members of MOVE the day the Powers That Beat decided it was long overdue to take John Africa out. So what if thirteen people died with him... who cares about the 5 children who died alog with him?

The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire. We don't need no water let the mother fucker burn,  Burn, mother fucker, burn. 

And they did.  And they died. May 13, 1985.

Burned forever in my mind, and it should be in yours too. OUR COUNTRY. OUR PEOPLE. OUR GOVERNMENT.

FUCK YOU AMERICA! FUCK THE US FOR FUCKING US ALL!  And thank you daddy, for letting me in on the secret.  Now what? 

What else would call if not the City of Brotherly Love? ON A MOVE...

I do. Because my daddy told me to shoot them ya know... just in case. Daddy lost his first and only trial and the CITY of Philadelphia decided it was time to take him out.

No. I won't give up now. I could be next! (As I laugh my fucking ass off!!!!!)

What if I have nothing left? What if the Hook does NOT bring me back?

This demonstration and project in futility and determination has defined me for so long, that without it, I'm not sure if I am anything at all.

fuck that... yeah... Reality Bytes. But I won't play dead, and I won't pretend my name is not Elyssa Danielle Durant. My Daddy changed his, my gold-digging bitch of a mother changed her name 5 times, now with $250K invested in it, her face and her body are quite lovely too.

Mumia is STILL on death row. The 39th District is corrupt to the core. The MAYOR dropped the bomb. May 13, 1985. No longer sealed, and I am no longer hiding, Now I know, why my life stopped when it was about to start. I know the truth, and the feds know I'm certifiable. So you decide...

~~~~~this where I must break~~~ all in due time my friends~~~~

I can't lose what I never had. I won’t be another sell-out... mostly because I don't know how.

I am then the voice of perseverance. I am one voice of perseverance. I am one of 47 million Americans. And today I am I am still fighting the good fight.

This battle; this challenge; this half won war this fight has come to define me. And without that, I am not really much of anything at all...

As someone once told me, if you don’t stand for something, you will fall for anything. I've already fallen, but I sure as shit stand for something.

"...so for now, I write. Maybe later read.  I am always listening. But if there is any justice left in this world, maybe someday, I might actually live."

That's a;; for now, folks. I think I'll tweet a bit.  I think I've earned it the right to play a little.  Can't go anywhere anyway.  License suspended (thanks again dad! You can manage to moved 1.3 million dollars into two separate trusts within one hour of TRO, but you it takes 22 days to hand over the $4.50 I needed to avoid eviction and 6 months homelessness?)  

You must be so proud. I'm finally doing you ordered me to do long ago. Fighting for myself, because you made it clear you will never do it for me.  Lesson learned. Bring it on. Again.  This time I know what t expect.

Elyssa Durant

Nashville, Tennessee

[Parts previously posted at United Professionals under: An Appalling Appeal]

Another Unanswered Letter [Content Warning: TYVM, FURB]

[unedited... apologies for typos, etc]

The letter below dated April 13, 2008 went unanswered. That correspondence along with many others who just pretend I don't exist.

Now I know exactly how much I mean to this City.

PAY ME TO LEAVE!!!!!

There is nothing quite so disturbing as being invisible. Yes. I am homeless. I have lived through a shooting, an assault by a security guard at a medical facility, and with no other place to go, I rented a room in a house for low income adults who are SEVERELY FUCKING DISTURBED!!!!

Now I am deeply disturbed too. I am deeply disturbed that this is the best we can do.

At least I know I need help, and when to get it. Despite being owned by a CMHA [Community Mental Health Agency] and the recipient of both state and federal funds, the only rule in this house is don't call 911. In other words, when locked out or assaulted by one of the 3 other house mates, Mobile Crisis is OFF LIMITS. Now I know better than anyone that Mobile Crisis sucks, but when you are standing beneath a 6 foot woman holding a waffle iron over your head, 911, mobile crisis, IDGAF who intervenes, just someone do something!

I called the crisis hotline the other day. In all honesty, I just had no one else to talk to, my internets had been disconnected and sabotaged, the house phone locked up. I was just lonely (and locked out during a tornado warning)

But trust me, there is nothing quite like sticking me in a house with SSPMI (super severe persistent mental illness) that make me look almost normal and and a landlord with a no-call policy against Mobile Crisis and mental health helplines.

I have lost everything near and dear to me since I first offered to participate with the local police department after the shooting downstairs. That was in February.

Next, I lose Spotty because not a single person in Nashville has enough compassion to rescue an innocent animal that I rescued from one of clients several years ago. And you wonder why I'm so angry?

PLEASE SAVE SPOTTY

http://darknightdurant.blogspot.com/2009/04/please-save-spotty.html

Don't worry, I know you want my silence, that message came through loud and clear.

You can take everything from me [actually, you already have] but you will not take my voice. And I can promise you this, my memory is long, and it is hot. Look it up assholes, hot memory.

Yeah... you did this. Now it's my turn.


Continue to sneak a peak every now and then.... your e-mails will appear on this page. Fuck you, and fuck you right back. Happy Anniversary, Elyssa. You have officially been a resident of this fine fucking state for exactly 13 years.

Kicking ass, not so much... taking names... you can bet your sweet ass I am!





CLAIM IT QUICK, COUNCILMAN... AN APOLOGY IS FAR BETTER THAN ANYTHING I MIGHT SAY BELOW...




[Unanswered letter to EC, Metro Council]

April 13, 2009

Can you please tell me who I could speak with (preferably informally) about a situation with Section 8 and MDHA.

I have already spoken with Pat Clark, director of MDHA, and she has been an unsympathetic to the fact that there has been an ongoing problem with drugs and violence with children in the same complex.


Legal Aid / or pro-bono refused to will represent me since my parents are attorneys. They told me I would have to get the money for court fees and a court reporter from them. That just ain't gonna happen.


I am 36 years old.

I don't mean to be rude or disrespectful in any way-- you have been extremely kind and gracious towards me, I am just exhausted by this process and I think it is pretty easy to see that I am stuck between a rock and a hard place.

If there is someone in particular who works closely with the housing authority and utilities, kindly ask them if you can release their name to me(or vice versa) so I can make sure it on the record before I loose my section 8. The landlord is paid in full, but I still have to move by the 22nd.
.

Thanks so much. If there is anyone you can think please let me know. There is stigma and judgment that comes long with a person who lives in public housing, but can assure you it would not be my first choice.

Thank your discretion and assistance.

Sincerely yours,

Elyssa Durant
ed70@columbia.edu
6154248810

Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

YOU WOULD NOT UNDERSTAND

You Would Not Understand

New York, New York.The City That Never Sleeps

I miss New York. I miss my wild, brilliant friends plagued by curiosity, insomnia, and creativity.

In the city, I can disappear. I can peruse the streets at 3 am and still find things to do. If not to do, then things to see. I can stand in the middle of Times Square just reading the Live News Feeds in technicolor, or visit the Internet Cafe just across the street from the Hello Kitty store.

But, I'm getting older now, and I'm not so sure I like it anymore...

~retraction 1/7/2010 ~

I can no longer wake up old friends that actually dare to sleep before the sun comes up.

So while you the world sleeps, I write. I digg. I learn, I question, and I write.

~and I Tweet~ 

To Randall, Wendy, Rob, Robert, Christopher Martin, and a few others that got lost along the way; please know that I still grieve for each and every one of you. I mourn the loss of the friendships we once shared. There is an emptiness in my life that memories & photographs could never fill. I don't have them anymore.

But perhaps most of all, I grieve for my self. I grieve for the person I used to be. The person I almost was. The person I believed I would become. The person you left left behind.

To some: Thanks ForGiving.

To others: Good Luck ForGetting

Elyssa // previously known as "LIz"
.

Who knew that loneliness can become a family in its own right? Always there, always familiar. Who would have believed that solitude can become our greatest companion, and that strangers would become our very best friends?I don't think it was ever really about the city, I think it is more about the anonymity. Someplace you can be yourself, and never worry about being judged for being different. I don't fit in here. But to be fair, I don't really fit in anywhere.